Junto Boys

FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS VOTE REPUBLICAN

Someone sent Trish this spam and I decided to post my own retort in italics.


Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

We shared a common enemy with him in the 1980s. Would the author of this blame FDR for arming Joseph Stalin against Hitler? They Cheney did business with him is a myth. Getting Saddam was no diversion. Bush said shortly after 911 that Iraq was part of the axis of evil.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

It’s not that simple. We oppose Cuba because of the Monroe Doctrine. It’s the same reason we ran the communists out of Central America. America is opposed to communism everywhere, but prohibits it anywhere in this hemisphere.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest <>
national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq. <>
The reason the United States should get out of the United Nations is that they won’t enforce their own resolutions. We gave them a chance and they were left wanting. It’s a corrupt body that allowed Saddam to illegally trade oil for kickbacks. But the most dangerous thing about the U.N. is that it’s ruled by people who weren’t brought up in a free country and therefore have no respect for the individual. Libya is on their Human Right’s committee for crying out loud.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
These don’t really go together. The real question is why is it that Democrats only believe in personal choice when it comes to abortion. Why can’t we choose where we send our kids to school? Why can’t we invest our own social security money? Why can’t we keep more of our own money and make our own decisions? In short, Democrats only believe in choice when it comes to ending pregnancy. All other choices are left up to the government. <>

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

I don’t know about homosexuals, but even Bill doesn’t like Hillary.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches
while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

It was John Kerry that voted against the $80 billion to fund the troops in Iraq. What benefits have the Republicans slashed?

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

It’s not about whether they will have sex, but whether the school system is set up in a way to promote it. Condoms in schools are a lazy way for parents to get out of confronting their children about their behavior. Would you have sex with a person you knew to be infected with an STD because you had a condom? Why give our children condoms and pretend like we’re saving their lives when we’re only promoting the kind of behavior that puts them at risk?

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.
Which allies? The allies that were protecting their illegal oil deals with Saddam Hussein? <>

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

We’re providing health care to tortured and injured Iraqis. It’s a war zone. And why can Americans afford big houses, eating out, going to the movies, automobiles, vacations, and lots of others luxuries, but have no money to keep themselves healthy.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Republicans know that HMOs and insurance companies are trying to make a profit. It’s the profit motive that keeps prices low. When companies are trying to compete against one another they have to do things better to make money. If a company does something you don’t like you can cease doing business with them. A bureaucrat in Washington need not worry about how good his service to you is, because you have no choice but to deal with him if so ordered. Ironically, it’s the self-interest that companies have that insure that you will get what you want. The supposed altruism of government gives it to you they way they want.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

No one doubts the earth is getting warmer. Scientists have not proven that it’s a phenomenon caused by mankind. And if they could prove that mankind was the cause, they couldn’t prevent it without wiping out the human race. No one doubts that tobacco can lead to cancer. It’s just that Republicans think that if women can kill their own babies they might as well be allowed to have a cigarette.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.
A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Every congressman that voted for war had an opportunity to see the same evidence Bush was given by the CIA and British intelligence. And don’t forget, CIA Director, George Tenet was appointed by Bill Clinton. And speaking of Clinton, he was impeached for lying to a grand jury and trying to obstruct justice by coaxing witnesses to lie about what they knew. It doesn’t matter what the lies were about, but that the man in charge of executing the laws of the land would shirk his duties to for personal protection.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet. <>
Republicans have been in charge of Congress through the entire internet boom. They have not censored the Internet. In fact, they have kept it a tax free zone so that it could sustain growth. As far as gay marriage, if Republicans thought that the Constitution disallowed it, they wouldn't be seeking an amendment. It's pretty novel idea since Democrats get the constitution changed by appointing more liberals to the bench.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
Bush's driving record is none of our business.

I suppose this is witty. Bush was a fool for covering up his DUI. Hillary, on the other hand, was using the cattle futures market in order to take a bribe. In other words, one mishap was due to poor judgment, the other to corruption.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a <>
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

Even Ted Kennedy, John Kerry and Bill Clinton support the stupid drug laws. They can hardly be considered Republican. Rush has yet to be charged with a crime and he has never called his own problem with painkillers a disease. He blames himself for being weak.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
This didn’t start with Ashcroft. California voted by referendum in the 1990s to legalize medicinal marijuana and Janet Reno said she would prosecute any who tried it.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what
Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

If Bush did something in the 1980s that would hamper his ability to be commnader in chief, then I’m ready to hear what it was. Clinton’s behavior in the 1960s was so peculiar at the time because he was our first hippy president.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people,
we're likely to be stuck with Bush for 4 more years.

I couldn’t imagine paying fewer taxes and whipping the Islamo-fascists for another 4 years. When are we going to get back to giving out money for special interest complaint groups?

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
No, they insist.