I forgot some of these movies existed. Here's a sample of the wry commentary.
10. Over the Top, 1987
“Hawk” showed that arm wrestling is in the heart, not the actual arm. The ‘80s were notorious for this type of nonsensical motivation, where the human spirit could keep your arm from being torn off by Mad Dog Madison. But in fairness to the decade, it was considered unusual for child custody cases to be decided by arm wrestling truck drivers.
6. Gymkata, 1985
the US government decides to send in a gymnast to whom they’ve taught karate for a couple weekends. This ends up being a great decision since all of his opponents come at him in perfectly symmetrical paired formations that can only be stopped with graceful flying splits.
5. Disorderlies, 1987
The only way Winslow Lowry can pay off his gambling debts is to receive the inheritance from his father. And since just murdering him wouldn’t ensue any humorous mayhem, he hires the Fat Boys as orderlies, counting on their bumbling incompetence to kill his dad.
2. Moonwalker, 1988
Moonwalker is a mix of music videos like “Leave Me Alone,” which demands you to not pay attention to him during his own movie, and “Man in the Mirror,” which demands you to cure world hunger. This comes off as a little hypocritical, since if you added up all the hush money that Michael’s paid to the parents of allegedly fondled children, he could have replaced Ethiopia with a 1,200-mile wide bowl of pudding.
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