Junto Boys

FRIENDS OF HILLARY

Marci gets all kinds of appeals for money in the mail. Luckily, I am able to screen the mail and I don't let any of them get through to her, lest she feel compelled to contribute. She has a poor record of declining such appeals, so I like it best if they never reach her desk. I don't contribute to politial causes or alumni funds either, so it's a level playing field. I'm willing to give money to the American Red Cross, but everyone else is on their own.

Well, recently Marci got an appeal from Hillary Rodham Clinton, which I found unusual since she is not running for any office which directly concerns us. I expect to hear from Arnold, but not Hillary. She sent out a "2005 Critical National Issues Survey" which is her way of making non-constituents feel as if they have a voice as they send her financial support.

In Part One, you get to rank the issues as defined by Hillary. Then she asks how concerned you are that...

- President Bush is not doing enough to get Americans back to work, create more jobs, and get the economy moving again?

It doesn't ask if you think it is true, just how concerned you are about it.

- the massive budget deficits caused by Republican economic and tax policies will inevitably result in drastic cuts in Social Securty, Medicare, education, and social services?

I don't like the massive budget deficits either, but hello, Congress controls the money and that is you.

- Administration proposals for Homeland Security underfund crucially important first responders, such as firefighters, police officers, and local health agencies?

I don't see where this even makes sense. How do federal security issues even affect local agencies? Republicans not only want to starve grandma and foul the water, but the bastards also hate firefighters!

- ongoing Republican proposals to privatize Social Security by investing some of it in the stock market and putting the retirement of millions of Americans at risk?

Please explain fully why you think investing in the American stock market is a loser.

- the Bush Administration continues to weaken environmental laws designed to protect our air, water, and wilderness areas?

The GOP really should be more focused on destabalizing education and slashing the benefits of firefighters.

- social conservatives who now control the Republican Party will ultimately deny women their reproductive rights by stacking the Supreme Court and overturning Roe v Wade?

Because that is the central mandate of the Republican Party. Women should vote Democrat.

- our children will continue to lose teachers and classrooms because of the Bush Administration's failure to adequately fund public education?

If we have not yet adequately funded the war on stupidity, then perhaps it is time to overhaul the system.

- the Administration's unilateral policies have reduced our number of allies and endangered our national security?

As evidenced by zero attacks on US soil in four years.

- George W Bush could shape the fate of the Supreme Court for decades to come?

Isn't this the same threat as overturning Roe v Wade?

In Part 2, you rate which of the political parties you trust more to... such and such. My favorite is ...protect the environment from those who would harm it for profit? Do people really think there is profit in harming the environment? I can understand accusing the GOP of not protecting the environment enough, but the wording seems odd to suggest that the harm is anything but incidental to the profit-making activity.

In Part 3, you get to "express your opinions" by choosing the best answer from predetermined choices. One of the questions gets as close as Hillary comes to addressing foreign policy when she asks you how you feel about Bush's decision to deny federal funding to international family planning organizations in underdevoped countries.

The woman is running for Senator of New York! What is this survey doing in California? Aren't there laws against this sort of thing? Maybe the evil Republicans have driven her to campaign 3000 miles away via bulk mail. I'm just glad Marci will never see this.